Till when will I love him ?

After 365 days n nights of misery, shedding million n millions of teardrops
Tired of faking that smile all around, n ignoring when the conversation bout him crops...
Till when will I love him...?

After all that he did, after all that I bared..
Alone ... n indeed alone n strong I went...
After all that he did wrong, n the lies on which truths he sweared...
The question remains the same....
Till when will I love him ..?

The betrayal wasn’t small, n um not even comparing it with nyones else’s story
For he chose to continue with some other page n some other character, while I chose my self respect and glory
But still sitting at time, trying to scribble through old memories, I again ask myself
Till when will I love him...?

Yes indeed now I’m used to that void he created,
I’m used to his absence in my life
Though yes the memories still prick me up
All I can do is sit back and think n then sigh...
For whatever reasons things cant be reverted back ,
But then it all comes back to the same
Till when will I love him...?

So yes, moving on is what life is about
And indeed that’s what I’ve been trying to do
But, how can I just ignore for the fact and not let my memory shout out loud
Coz yes indeed enough or maybe more had I loved him...
N inspire of all that I had been through and um still going through ...!!!
Till when will I love him...??? Till when will I love him ..!!!!

what if ...??

What if the one u love... doesn't love u back
What if the one u love knows u love them... but belongs to someone else..
What if the one u love ... tends to forget u
What if the one u love tends not to belong to u...
What if the one u love... stays in ur poetry... in ur memories ... in ur dreams ... but not in ur life..
What if ur the one unlucky in love !!!
There's nothing u can do about it !!!
There's so much to think ... so much to give ... so much to feel..
But all u can do .. is pick up the ink soaked pen.... n scribble ur emotions ..
Coz the one u love ... isn't even aware ... of what u go through !!!
That each day ... u swipe ur hands on his name embedded on a books front page ...
That each day ... u read a poem written by him... n try n slip to the slumber ... u May ...
Each day ... u wish to see him one more time.... since he's just so far away ...
But what if.. that's just not possible ..
What if he doesn't know that u feel so much for him ... n it all goes in vain ..
Love u see ... is just a strange feeling... for some ... its just adjacent to their site, lying beside them in their bed ..
N to some ... forever in the poetry ... it has to stay ...!!
PS: Ull know it the day Ull read it ... its for h ❤️ so much love... but not enuf words to say !!! 

What do u do??

They say that frnds have got ur back...
But what if the one u thought are ur backbone...
Leave it snapped n twisted !!!

What if the ones u thought are gonna be thr ...
Disown u in one second...

What u do in such situations... when ur self respect is at stake Coz of the ones u had put ur faith into..

Most deadly situation is when the relationship who had counted on puts u n ur self being at stake...

What do u do in such situations... what do u choose...

When do u knw that this is the time to walk away... n not look back to something that was ur all !!!

What do u do ??

randoms

Khwahishoṅ ko pura karne ki chah main
Zindagi Mai itna aage baḍh gaye hum...


Ki unse hi door hona paḍa
Jinhone zindagi ka pehla kadam lena sikhaya tha...

the real me

Flipping through the days
And passing by those moments
When i paused to seek my reflection
I found... that it wasn't me

The girl dancing in the rain
The singing bird in night
The one trying to know it all
I somewhere knew it wasn't me

In the rush of an hour
In the fast pace of this world
Trying to adapt to a stronger version
This new identity that you see, isn't me

This new created identity
Merely a cover up for the lost girl be
N harder i try to be back to the older version
All efforts go in vain, i don't find me

The build up so concrete
Overpowering everything that's weak
But blinking through those sleepless nights
I still try to seek the real me

Went places to places
Questioned one or the other
Alas !! Only to my disappointment
Somewhere far, i had lost me

Where art thou, the lil innocent girl
Where art thou, the cute lil monster
Where art thou, the genuine me
Exhausted n worked up.... i cant find the Real me
I miss the real me !!!

the incomplete n untold

After time n long
Of the striking cold wibes
That warm breeze had hit me
Like a geyser in the Ice

Like fine wine
It kept growing n how
Whatever it was happening
Feeling were set to growl

Poetry, stars , pool
Silly, honest, emotional tinch
Hey what was it happening,
Is it real?? Pls gimme a pinch

Bliss smile n what not
One confession brought with it
N yes ... it was both sided
To which we both had submit !!

He told me the something
N i told him the same
Blushing grinding n everything else
Was i really goin insane

But i dint ask nythn i return
N so wasn't he ready to give
It was Ohk from a perspective
Coz different lives we both had to live

N u know what they say
Not all stories have to end
Some should stay incomplete
With some blushes, n some dents

Scream of my silence

with that broad smile on my face
Chucking all those sorrows away
I still at times, I sit back and think
What's that's missing, where's my zing

In a room full of crowd
I still find myself lonely
Trying hard to figure out
What's that's missing, that one thing only

There's nothing I lack
Nothing that I'm short of
Still everyday I'll wear a fake smile
A calm n content person to show off

At times I feel so broken
Broken into two
But then I remember
It won't work out if I stay in this gloom

Wish it was simple to figure out
How to fill that hollow space
Something unknown that um in need of
Something for which I long, something for which I crave

Till then, I've got this in mind
That there'll definitely be a dawn
 N waiting for that I say
The show must go on... the show must go on